Monday, 29 April 2013

I love wrestling. Proper wrestling with guys in cages. WWF is best. I watch all their stuff on Youtube, over and over again. I spent all day once watching 'Armageddon 2000'-6 men in a cage. It was amazing. 6 men in a cage; wrestling. It's like 3 Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome, but better, because there's 6 men, and they're not in a boat, they're in a cage and they're wrestling. I actually posted an original idea of my own on my facebook page: 'Holocaust 2013 - 12 men in a gas oven.' - It would be crazy, 12 men, solid steel walls and flames spewing from all directions. The referees could guard the exits in their striped uniforms, with fake coshes and improvised weapons. I knew it would be a smash. Imagine then, how excited I was when I saw a Mexican wrestler arriving at my door, complete with balaclava and long black coat, leather gloves - the lot. I knew he had come to discuss my exciting new idea for a wrestling extravaganza. When I opened the front door, autograph book at the ready, he threw acid in my face and called me a fucking nazi. Lucky for me I had just been practising wrestling moves on my inflatable wrestling doll, and I had my leather wrestling mask on. Otherwise I could have been seriously hurt. I never did like Mexican style wrestling anyway. WWF was way better. And The Yanks don't cheat by throwing acid in your face.