Saturday, 6 December 2008

A miracle

I was watching a television programme called Catastrophe with Tony Robinson. It's great, especially when the special effects make everything look great. Apparently, the earth used to be two planets that collided and made one planet and our moon.
I am a sceptic and find this rather hard to believe, until I was in town today, attending a talk given by Tony Robinson, all about his ground breaking work with the Timewatch team. Apparently they have discovered some watches or something in Sheffield.
Anyway, after the talk, I waited behind with a number of fans, hoping to get Tony's autograph and perhaps ask him how many watches he had found. The crowd was quite large and Tony was late so things were getting rowdy; by the time he appeared many of us were almost at boiling point. But that's because we were impatient.
Tony signed a few autograph books and spoke to some pretty looking girls who were clearly flirting with him, then he tried to get into a car, assisted by a body guard. Well, the crowd weren't having it; people were shouting, punches were thrown and a man leapt over the barrier and head butted Tony so hard that their heads fused. Tony's head grew bigger with lots of bits of head flying around it, then these bits of head all joined together to form little head orbiting around it like a moon. And even though I didn't get his autograph, I'll never disbelieve what he says about how the earth was formed again, never ever.

An interactive guide to animals

I've just been blamed for all that stuff that went on in Mumbai. As usual, it started when some racists came to my house and tried to give me leaflets. I said I didn't like terrorists either but I could feel a scene developing in my doorstep. So I told them that if they could prove they were the master race I would read their leaflets and possibly help them drive out a few desperate families. But I needed to test their strength if I was to believe they were the master race. I gave the first man a caber but he dropped it on his foot and swore at me. I told him the master race only used good words, not bad words, and that he was out of the competition. The next man I gave a few bits of metal and asked him if he could fashion them into a robot that did a backflip. He failed so miserably I decided to thump him in the eye. The third man I gave some used bubbly gum and asked him to make it new again with some sort of spell. After chewing it for a few seconds he was sick.
This is why I have become a fan of this web site that tells you all about animals.