Friday, 7 November 2008

A disturbing phone call

I got a phone call today from Desmond Morris. I asked him what he wanted and he said he was writing an update of his best selling book 'Manwatching' and that he wanted a man to watch and I was a man and he was going to watch me. He said he was going to watch me and watch me until his eyes bulged and popped out, and he said if he lost his eyes he wouldn't have to cry no more. Then he went off on a tangent, talking about losing his teeth and losing his legs and then I got it.
I said 'you're not really Desmond Morris are you - you're Cat Stevens' and he admitted to being Cat Stevens and apologised for trying to deceive me in such a cruel way. I told him what he did was not only upsetting for me and my family but potentially damaging to Desmond Morris' reputation as a top flight anthropologist. He agreed with me and said he would phone Desmond Morris to put things straight. Before I had chance to commend him on his intentions he put the phone down. When I phoned 1471 it said his number was unavailable.


Phil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phil said...

Let's not forget Desmond Morris's great animal talking impressions on Animal Magic.

Yeah he was good on that.

"Ooo pe doopey do... I am an elephant" ahahaha.

Yeah, Desmond was great at that, dunno about about his books and all that??

But those animal talkey things.

Yeah that was what he was BEST at...