Monday, 10 November 2008

I'm glad my dad isn't corgi registered

A man arrived at the door to install my gas fire and range cooker. I got quite a surprise when he first appeared because he looked almost exactly like my dad who unkindly left me just after I was born, 41 lonely years ago. He was tall with a goaty beard - I daresay he must have been quite handsome when he was younger - and he looked kind and caring. I've always wanted a dad who played an active role in my life and this one looked like the real deal so I decided to grasp the nettle.
I smiled at him and asked him if he would take me to the park. He looked at me quizzically and asked me to repeat myself. I asked him if he would take me to the park and push me on the swings or perhaps the roundabout. He grabbed me by the throat, held up a large wrench and before I had time to defend myself, smashed all my teeth out. I think I would rather have an absent father than a violent one.

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